Mrow, I'm a Sexy Sexy Kitty

Mrow, I'm so sexy, I'm so sexy that I need to wear a huge gigantic completely large leopard hat. My god, what the hell was the woman thinking. See I would wear a hat like this knowing that it was a joke, this lady nuh uh, she was serious. She was wandering around like the best thing since sliced bread in her so spotted so leopard hat. Jesus, somebody please put that kitty to sleep. I mean it's just GOD AWFUL. The only way to fix this is to take the damn thing off and bury it in the backyard with all the other dead faux fur items ever created, or make a rug out of it. I don't know which would be better. I could almost go hunting for this woman, shoot the damn thing off her head and then cheer. YAY I successfully killed a terrible furry hat! Take it off, please...PLEASE.

80s Prom

This girl was seriously disturbed thinking that this could possibly be a good idea. First and foremost I don't get the trend of the headband around the head, it makes your hair poof up like a hairbrush never ever existed and leaves a mark on your forehead if you take it off. It also looks stupid.

Aside from that fact, she had a big giant flower/loofa emerging from the side of her head. And um...80s much? The only thing missing was the legwarmers covering her shoes. The striped shirt was way too tight for her and the skirt didn't fall in a flattering way around her body. The overall effect was like a puffer fish ready for attack.

Honestly I can't get over the headband, there's a time and place for certain fashion choices and this was not one of them. Walking down the street in Williamsburg perhaps but not at a dressy New Year's Eve event.

The tights weren't a bad idea, but everything was in the same color palate. Mix it up a little. Even if she wanted to stick to all dark colors there's a way to add some pop. Instead of wearing a black skirt, how about purple or red? That could have worked really well. Also a fancier top that wasn't so tight fitting. Fashion tip: if you're chunky or even fat never wear horizontal stripes, they make you look wider. Learn it and use it. Vertical stripes are your friend.

Confused Biker Chick

I never realized until now that New Years Eve is a haven for bad fashion.
To our left we have a serious case of not knowing what's appropriate to wear to a dressy yet not black tie event. If this girl was going out to a club or even just to hang out with her friends her outfit would have been okay, except for the sliver of skin showing at her ankles that the boots should have covered. That's never okay especially when wearing leggings. I kid you not, to a dress affair she wore black spandex leggings with a silk blue mini dress that was riding up her ass all night. If I wanted to look like I had a permanent wedgie I would have worn this outfit too. To top it all off she wore a gray leather jacket. Were you trying to be a biker chick? Well if you were, you failed miserably. The mix of trends here fell short of hitting the mark. The jacket didn't complement the outfit or her at all, since it wasn't fitted. It was also a casual jacket which didn't match the event either. If she was going for the leggings with boots trend, she didn't hit it. The skin showing ruins the sleek look that is supposed to be achieved by doing that. The Boots should have covered up to her calves, period. There's no excuse for that.

Now if she wanted this outfit to be appropriate for the affair she was attending, she should have worn black pantyhose or opaque tights. The hose or tights would have created the same effect as the leggings, but added a dressier look to the outfit. The boots weren't dressy enough either, she looked like she just got off her motorcycle. Instead she could have worn a dress boot that created a simple line all the way to the tip of the toes. The jacket, useless, she wasn't riding in on a Harley. The blue silk dress, if she'd worn tights or hose and the proper shoes, would have made an extremely cute outfit.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Now I don't know how you feel about bright colors, but I for one think they should be paired together strategically and in a well thought manner. I myself am not a fan of them, my closet consisting of mainly warm tones and black. Though I applaud the daring for pairing multiple shades of bright colors together to formulate a wonderful outfit, but there are many who are incapable of pulling off such a magical thing.

Last night I went to a community theatre production. I used to be a member and so had the privilege of sitting in the back with a headset on cracking jokes with the spotlight woman. Intermission. A woman strolls by wearing, wait for it, red boots, tight spandex purple leggings and a tight red top. She wasn't a small girl by any means and her stomach rolls were easily visible.

Now whoever said that red and purple matched was seriously disturbed and whoever told this woman that should be shot. Immediately. She looked like a misshapen tree ornament. What made it even more alarming was the fact that she seemed perfectly confident in her outfit. HELLO, get a mirror and realize that you don't match, number one, and number two that you can see every bump and wrinkle on your entire body.

Now if she had been wearing a pair of black jeans with the red that would have looked nice and maybe a longer top, but come on. Purple? Purple leggings? Was she trying to look like barney? I don't know and I hope I never see something that frightening again.

Purple and Red will never match. Please take note.

At The Hop

I'm sorry I don't have a full frontal of this girl, but I was so shocked when I saw her I couldn't get my camera out in time. This poor girl looks like she stepped right out of a sock hop and onto the street. She should be wearing bobby socks and saddle shoes! She's missing the chiffon scarf in her hair too and the swinging pony tail, gee whiz. Jesus. Poor thing definitely didn't look in the mirror when she left the house.

From the front the skirt comes all the way up to the highest point on her waist, the black top is half tucked in. I mean seriously if you just took a piss look in the mirror and readjust yourself, come on. The skirt is another thing altogether. It makes her look bottom heavy, especially from the front where it bunched at her belly pooch. It needed to be tapered a bit. It also looks like a picnic tablecloth if you ask me. The whole thing is a big mess.

There's nothing wrong with the shirt on its own, just that skirt needs something and I don't even know what. If it wasn't as high waisted and fit her the right way then the outfit could have been cute, maybe. The shoes were all wrong too, I think Nikes or something, I could be wrong. The outfit looks like it took two seconds to put together. Give a little effort lady, I don't feel like getting dressed up all the time either, but I wouldn't leave my house looking like you.