Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Now I don't know how you feel about bright colors, but I for one think they should be paired together strategically and in a well thought manner. I myself am not a fan of them, my closet consisting of mainly warm tones and black. Though I applaud the daring for pairing multiple shades of bright colors together to formulate a wonderful outfit, but there are many who are incapable of pulling off such a magical thing.

Last night I went to a community theatre production. I used to be a member and so had the privilege of sitting in the back with a headset on cracking jokes with the spotlight woman. Intermission. A woman strolls by wearing, wait for it, red boots, tight spandex purple leggings and a tight red top. She wasn't a small girl by any means and her stomach rolls were easily visible.

Now whoever said that red and purple matched was seriously disturbed and whoever told this woman that should be shot. Immediately. She looked like a misshapen tree ornament. What made it even more alarming was the fact that she seemed perfectly confident in her outfit. HELLO, get a mirror and realize that you don't match, number one, and number two that you can see every bump and wrinkle on your entire body.

Now if she had been wearing a pair of black jeans with the red that would have looked nice and maybe a longer top, but come on. Purple? Purple leggings? Was she trying to look like barney? I don't know and I hope I never see something that frightening again.

Purple and Red will never match. Please take note.

At The Hop

I'm sorry I don't have a full frontal of this girl, but I was so shocked when I saw her I couldn't get my camera out in time. This poor girl looks like she stepped right out of a sock hop and onto the street. She should be wearing bobby socks and saddle shoes! She's missing the chiffon scarf in her hair too and the swinging pony tail, gee whiz. Jesus. Poor thing definitely didn't look in the mirror when she left the house.

From the front the skirt comes all the way up to the highest point on her waist, the black top is half tucked in. I mean seriously if you just took a piss look in the mirror and readjust yourself, come on. The skirt is another thing altogether. It makes her look bottom heavy, especially from the front where it bunched at her belly pooch. It needed to be tapered a bit. It also looks like a picnic tablecloth if you ask me. The whole thing is a big mess.

There's nothing wrong with the shirt on its own, just that skirt needs something and I don't even know what. If it wasn't as high waisted and fit her the right way then the outfit could have been cute, maybe. The shoes were all wrong too, I think Nikes or something, I could be wrong. The outfit looks like it took two seconds to put together. Give a little effort lady, I don't feel like getting dressed up all the time either, but I wouldn't leave my house looking like you.